Occasionally Things Fall Apart

My landlord has decided to sell this house. Bryan's lease on his little apartment runs out on November 1st. This conundrum has brought up many discussions about combining our efforts into one lease, somewhere else. The problem is finding "somewhere else." 

Poor Bryan is terribly sick. There's just been too much activity around him for comfort.
So what do I do? I take him house hunting, and pack it on top of his doctor's appointment and the turmoil surrounding Dad. All in one day.

Yesterday was stressful and irritable for everyone except me. I stumbled around in oblivious bouts of good-natured happiness. I danced around, sang along to the car radio, and drove Bryan crazy. He complied sullenly with everything I wanted to do, which included:
Checking out two houses for prospective renting.
Discussions about money.
Driving all over town to show him areas where we might find a nice place.
Cooing over him with a little girl voice with lots of "I'm sorry"s about his bronchitis.
And
Reminding him that Steph will visit in just 2 weeks, and stay for about 12 days.

Oh and I forgot ... trying to convince him that we were going to move all our stuff in one day, as we can't afford to prorate for any substantial amount of time.

Really, our main worry is finding a place we can afford that will allow me to have my dog in tow. She's been my companion for a little more than a decade, and I can't leave her in her last few years without "Mommy". So, as my mind is all over the place and generating ideas -- as it tends to do -- Bryan has been silently suffering and adapting to life with crazy little me. All he asked today was that I do the dishes and let him sleep in.
Easy.
But his mercurial depression and pesky bronchitis have been slowing eroding my good mood. I guess the problem is that I let it. It's difficult to be present with someone, to be there for them, without empathy sneaking in like a thief. I feel for him. When he's down, I'm more than concerned; I take it all on myself. One worry for another. (And the voice of my Zen teacher slips into my thoughts here, and asks, "For the sake of what?" Stealthy little old man!)

So I sat zazen today. I let him sleep in. I'm on my way into the kitchen to finish the dishes from last night. It's the best I can do.