About Me

A schizophrenic careening through middle age looks at her life in black font.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Hippo Birdie!!

It's my Birthday! I'M A PRINCESS TODAY! (kinda)


Whew! What a day!
My mother and sister surprised me today with carrot cake and presents. They came under the guise of "having coffee." To top off all the surprises, my nephew launched into the disturbing.

Gifts! Yay!

Because of my exhaustion and constant state of mental confusion, I don't remember all the details. But part of my nephew's gift to me was worry. He loved and pet the dog as he excitedly told me a long story about a pyramid he built with people inside it, and a secret potion he made that he takes at night while everyone is sleeping that makes the whole thing the size of a house. While this sounds like a typical, little-kid imagination, I should point out that my nephew is ten years old. He gave this story to all of us with a straight face, insisting it was all real. My sister asked if this all happens in his imagination a few times during his pauses for breath, and by the fourth question, he snapped.
"It's true!" He said with exasperation. Then his eyes widened and he told us he saw a shadow go across my living room wall, that looked "dark, like really dark." He compared this "shadow" to the devil, though in his young fear, he can't bring himself to say the word "devil." Instead, he said "Mr. Pickles." (I was quietly informed that "Mr. Pickles" was the only way my nephew can refer to the much-talked-about devil of his childhood imagination.)
A long silence followed.
My sister and I exchanged looks. How could I give her the "uh-oh, this is what we've feared" signal without scaring the kid?
I said to him, "Sometimes you remind me of me." He beamed his bright smile, and my sister's eyes became haunted. I could only guess at what memories of me as a child she was conjuring behind her hazel irises.

Later, a talk with my mother revealed my nephew is being scheduled for a psychological assessment in September. Apparently, these sudden bursts of outlandish imaginings are becoming more frequent, and are the source of relentless bullying at school. Everyone left with hugs and a silent acceptance. And so with a sigh, I tally up the day:

Birthday Gifts:
From Mom: a camera.
From Sister: a Yoda alarm clock.
From Niece: a card.
From Nephew: regrets, reminders, worry and love.

2 comments:

  1. Susan, I share your concern for your nephew and sister. I offer you support and concern.

    Happy Birthday, Doober.

    And check your email...

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  2. Happy belated!!!!! Carrot cake...you lucky girl. Mmmm.

    Worrying.....not what one would choose for one's child. But not a death sentence...I hope your nephew will carve out a life of his own, drenched in love and all the right support.

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